Week 3 editing task

To demonstrate the importance of clarity, focus and the role of editing as part of writing, edit the following passage down to no more than two lines:

The heavy black and blue winter sky groaned awfully with rain clouds that at any moment were really about to fall crashing heavily down upon the street where, because it was rush hour, so many people, wearing all manner of different clothes, hats, shoes, boots, some of them carrying bags, suitcases, briefcases, scampered and strolled about the place as though oblivious to what was just about to happen over their very heads. One of these people was called Hilary and concealed inside her voluminous coat she carried the loaded, snub-nosed gun, and she also seemed to be the only one looking upwards into the tempestuous thundery heavens.

My edit:

Rain clouds threatened those who scampered and strolled below.  The only one looking up was Hilary who carried concealed inside her voluminous coat a loaded gun.

Second go:

Rain clouds threatened those hurrying below. Only Hilary looked up whilst concealing the loaded gun within her coat.